The Movie: Going the Distance

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 Reels
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There was an equal mix of crack-ups and cringes in this story of bi-coastal love.

Erin has been working at a gig as an intern at The New York Sentinel when she meets Garrett, who lives in the city and is employed by a local record label. The two hit it off immediately and fall, as so many before them, into what they believe will be a short-term, no-strings-attached romance. But once it is time for Erin to head back home to the west coast it becomes obvious to both of them that this is no summer fling.

So what to do? They decide to give the relationship a shot. After all how bad can it be? These are modern times; they can call, text, email and hopefully actually get on the occasional plane and see each other. Needless to say they run into all of the typical challenges of the long-distance romance: the expense, the time difference, and of course learning to trust someone to be faithful that you never actually see. Eventually Erin is forced to choose between her career and her man, and although she chooses the man, the man steps aside in favor of her career.

Of course, this being a romantic comedy, they do get together in the end. Sort of. Although they don’t wind up together in New York as planned, Garrett does get a job in L.A., which is a much easier commute to San Francisco than New York.

So what are their chances now that they live in the same state? Believe it or not we think they’re pretty good. Although their affair commenced with what should have been a one-night hook-up, these two seem to have the type of solid foundation that comes from a friends-first union. Both are a little goofy and they have compatible senses of humor. They are clearly attracted to each other but neither seems to regard sex as the most important aspect of their relationship. Garrett is generous (at least we think so, despite Erin’s feelings to the contrary) and romantic – willing to fly 3,000 miles to San Francisco to surprise Erin, filling his apartment with candles and flowers when she comes east to see him. And Erin is a good sport; she doesn’t mind his friends or their goofy ways (anyone that doesn’t care if your best friend is listening to you doing it from the next room qualifies as a good sport in our books.)

But can these two really Go the Distance? We think they can.

The Movie: The Devil Wears Prada

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 Reels
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We know technically this isn’t a romance movie but – being us – we can’t help putting our two cents in on the relationship. Our first instinct on this was to give it two well manicured thumbs down – he’s been burned by her and although he’s willing to forgive we figured once he moves to Boston it will eventually fizzle out.  And frankly we found his behavior a little childish. Granted she left him hanging a lot, but they agreed she was going to put in her year of dues and that it was going to be a tough. There were several times we wanted to tell him to just grow the hell up.

But after giving it more consideration we started having second thoughts. Although Andy pretty quickly trades in her values for Versace we’ll go with the idea that underneath it all she’s still a decent person who eventually learns that life is about more than labels. And we have to think that Nate has a bit more drive than his granola persona lets on; anyone trying to make it as a chef in a big city probably has a few ambitions of his own. So it’s possible that they’re not all that different from each other and can make a good go of it. As a potential journalist and chef, both of them are pursuing careers that are creative, that could ultimately allow them to be their own bosses, and that theoretically they can do anywhere.

We didn’t get a fantastic chemistry vibe out of these two, but we can see them being one of those couples that has an interesting life together. Best of all, he won’t care if she doesn’t always look her best.

The Movie: Knight and Day

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 Reels
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The couple in this completely and utterly believable film – clearly based on a true story – actually managed to entertained us quite a bit more than expected. Even more unexpected was the chemistry between them.

June Havens is on her way home to Boston for her sister’s wedding when she bumps into handsome and charming Roy Miller, who, unbeknownst to her, is a CIA agent protecting a powerful newly developed super-battery that every bad guy in the world wants to get his hands on. Once June is involved in the situation Roy has no choice but to keep her with him so he can protect her as well.

Over the course of the next few days they are shot at repeatedly by large groups of black-clad men wielding rapid-fire automatic weapons. This happens on a highway at top speed, in a tunnel, on the Orient Express, in a warehouse, on an island in the Azores (that one also includes firebombing planes), in a hotel, and finally, just for a little dash of fantasy, while running with the bulls in Pamplona. Yet amazingly they both manage to emerge with barely a scratch while simultaneously killing almost everyone that’s after them. (A friend of ours knows a guy whose best friend’s cousin’s stepfather went to school with a guy who worked as a special agent and was also once shot at by several hundred gun-toting guys – and bulls – and who also killed them all and escaped unharmed. So, you know. Totally possible.)

What is really unbelievable is that we can actually see these two having a chance together. Yes June is kooky but Roy’s a little out there as well so we think they understand each other. June is clearly terrified by some of the situations she finds herself in, but not so much that she can’t act, and she’s not looking for someone to protect her. Most of the people we’ve met that work with cars like to drive fast and June is no exception. She’s definitely a risk-taker, with the courage to kiss a stranger on a plane, or to invite a bunch of international arms dealers to a roadside meeting. We don’t know if she would want a steady diet of bullet-dodging, but she seems to thrive on the excitement and not shy away from it. We think she has what it takes to keep up with Roy’s lifestyle.

As for Roy…well, there comes a time in a man’s life when he’s grown tired of facing down handheld rocket launchers and paramilitary thugs all by his lonesome, and he’s ready to say “I do” to someone who will have his back. The fact that Roy takes June to his private island paradise and goes all out playing the host suggests to us that Roy’s ready for a relationship. If he can kick the habit of drugging June whenever the going gets tough, we think he might actually make a pretty good partner.

We imagine a big reunion with his parents in Cape Horn, where June and Roy will settle down. She’ll open a garage, and he’ll put his skills to work doing freelance private investigation, with the occasional explosion and high-speed chase in the GTO just to keep things spicy.

If they can steer clear of the long arm of the U.S. government AND international crime kingpins, having in-laws will be a piece of cake.

The Movie: Ondine

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 Reels
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This enchanting fairytale is a little off the beaten track from our usual fare, but we just weren’t up for a night of Knight & Day, the recent Cruise/Diaz release. What a delightful dream of a movie this is.

Downtrodden Syracuse plucks a woman right out of the sea in his fishing nets one day. She is beautiful, young and mysterious, with no apparent knowledge of where she’s from, but a deep fear of being seen. She calls herself Ondine, after a nymph from German mythology. Syracuse thinks she’s a mermaid; his daughter Annie thinks she’s a “silkie” – half seal/half human. With no questions asked Syracuse takes the lovely young creature home to take care of her. It’s the stuff fantasies are made of.

For a short while life in the little cottage by the sea seems idyllic for these two, but of course, as in any good fairytale, there is evil lurking in the shadows. It turns out there is a reason that Ondine wants to remain hidden: she is on the run from her brutal, drug-dealing husband. And Syracuse has demons of his own: a daily battle against the bottle. It doesn’t take long for real life to intrude, and violently. But of course, as is also the case in fairytales, love and goodness eventually triumph.

As to whether we see these two as The Reel Thing – they are perhaps not a perfect 5, but we do think they have potential. He is her hero; the man that saves her not only from drowning but from her terrorizing thug of a husband. And she saves him as well – bringing him not only love but luck; her otherworldly singing calling forth an abundance of fish from the sea right into his nets.

There are age and background differences, but we think these are surmountable. She is young but mature, and she appears quite happy to stay in Ireland. Both are quiet and grounded; neither is looking for a glamorous life. They seem perfectly content with just each other and his daughter Annie, whom Ondine also adores. Both love the water, although in different ways, and neither is afraid to get dirty.

So what’s our verdict? We think these two go together like fish and chips.

The Movie: Fever Pitch

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 reels
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(Hey – it’s baseball season.)

There are not too many women (or men for that matter) that would run across a baseball field during a playoff game for the one they love.  OK, some of that could just be attributed to someone that gets caught up in the romantic excitement of the situation.  We still think the gesture was done out of love and sacrifice and earns this couple a couple of reels.  Granted, there have been some great moments between couples that clearly don’t belong together.  Therefore, putting this moment aside, we still think that despite some differences Ben and Lindsey could hit it out of the park.

She’s definitely more ambitious than he is but that doesn’t seem to bother her; she actually admires what he does for a living.  The baseball obsession is never going to go away and it’s something she’s going to have to put up with for 7 months of the year for the rest of her life.  But the Red Sox jerseys somehow start to fit her as time goes on, and she enjoys seeing this side of him.

There is heat between these two but not so much that they look like they’ll burn out in two months.  Rather they seem comfortable together.  They fit.  Yes Ben can be selfish and immature, but he’s also funny and endearing.  He’s one of those people that seems to care about and enjoy people of all ages, from his students to her parents.  And both are clearly willing to make sacrifices for each other.  He’s willing to sell his tickets (although considering how resentful he was about missing the winning playoffs game, we wonder how he’d have felt about that move after their next big fight), and she’s willing to work long hours to be with him at the games.

We can easily see them with 2-3 kids all dressed in little Red Sox jerseys.  They’ll be good parents with similar views on child-rearing, and – like her parents – they’ll still enjoy each other’s company when they’re older.  All in all we think they’ll make a good team.

The Movie: Strictly Ballroom

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 Reels
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This is K’s alltime favorite movie; she never gets tired of that final dance scene between Scott and Fran.  And for the most part, yes, we think the two have a good chance. 

They are both relatively quiet, serious people. Clearly they share a passion for dancing, and in general they seem to be compatible. But there’s a small, niggling part of us that can’t help but wonder if the moment will come when Scott suddenly sees Fran as the ugly duckling again.  After all she can’t wear the red lipstick and sequin dress all the time, so how much time does she have before she goes back to being “Just Fran?” It might be after their first hangover, or when she just can’t seem to lose that first baby weight.  Plus we’ve never seen anyone’s skin clear up quite so quickly so it’s a pretty safe bet that the zits she was sporting at the beginning of the movie are just a period away.  And suddenly Tina Sparkle starts to look pretty, well, sparkly.

We also hate the idea of them living in nowheresville, running their own sad little dance studio after such a sweet beginning.  For the most part we think they have a pretty good shot, but we think their best bet is to move to Sydney or some other big city.  Get away from his nutty family (keeping his mother in the picture knocks their score down half a reel) and get into some more interesting forms of dance.  Maybe they can go into choreography together, and become the next Paula Abdul & MC Skat Cat.

The Movie: Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too?

We have to admit we enjoyed this movie tremendously – much more than we thought we would. There were some great characters, believable dialogue and chemistry between all of the friends, and many truly funny moments. It’s true, the movie yanked on our heartstrings like a hungry terrier, and some of the moments were so over the top and in your face (exacerbated by the fact that we were sitting in about the third row of the theater) as to be physically painful. The culmination of these was the absolute nails-on-a-chalkboard “FIX IT!!!” scene towards the end that had C and I actually covering our eyes and ears. But we still had a great time, thanks in no small part to the crowd. We saw this movie just a couple of nights after it opened – not since the re-release of Star Wars have we seen such enthusiasm from an audience. We honestly wonder if we would have enjoyed it half as much had we been the only ones in the theater.

As for the couples themselves; we actually found ourselves supporting most of them.

Terry and Dianne – We felt like we were transported back to the days of the Carter administration after Dianne confessed to the lust in her heart. OK, so she did a little flirting and it made her feel good about herself – is that so terrible? And as for the fantasizing – come on. Guys and girls alike are going to fantasize about other people; especially after several years of marriage. Obviously Dianne needs to be careful not to take it further but we don’t think she will; she seems to have a pretty good head on her shoulders.  We think Terry needs to let this go but beyond that we felt these two were a good match – both relatively mature, caring friends, successful, and – for the most part – honest.  Reel Thing Rating – 4 out of 5 reels.

Sheila and Troy – Yes they clearly have some issues to work out, but Sheila is a much stronger person than she was when she was with Mike, and she is not going to let her man go without a fight.  As for Troy he clearly suffers from wounded male pride syndrome but we don’t think it’s terminal – he seems willing to attempt recovery for Sheila’s sake.  Reel Thing Rating – 4 out of 5 reels.

Marcus and Angela – What can we say? Angela is nuttier than a Snickers bar and if we’d been assigned to room with her in college even for a semester she’d probably still be in the trunk of our Cabriolet.  And yes, Marcus isn’t cheating now, but he has before (not that we entirely blame him), and his behavior is still juvenile and self-centered.  It’s easier for him to avoid Angela than to find a way to communicate with her.  And yet, the relationship still seems to work for them.  This isn’t just fighting; it’s foreplay, and it’s an essential component of their relationship.  Reel Thing Rating – 4 out of 5 reels.

Gavin and Patricia – We know that there are two sides to every story, but the problems with this relationship lie so clearly with Patricia that we find it hard to imagine her with anyone.  Reel Thing Rating: 0 out of 5 reels.

Dwayne Johnson and Patricia – It’s obviously too late for her and Gavin, and it’s way too early for her and Professor Dwayne.  There’s not a carousel big enough to handle all of the baggage she has to unload; even if she’s spent the last year re-reading her own books we still say she’s not remotely ready to enter into a new relationship.  Run, Dwayne, or at least store your golf clubs at a friend’s. Reel Thing Rating: 0 out of 5 reels.

The Movie: Dear John

Reel Thing Rating: 4 out of 5 reels.
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For the first half of this movie John and Savannah had us totally hooked. There was no doubt in our minds that this was a 5-reeler; they looked like one of those enchanted couples that fall in love in high school, marry young, and actually live happily ever after. And it wasn’t just because they are both jaw-droppingly beautiful. They just had that “it” quality about them.  We saw a few possible issues down the road (was it just us or did anyone else find her sense of entitlement about his decisions about his future – a person she really barely knew – just a bit overbearing?) but every relationship has its bumps and beyond that they seemed to have a golden future ahead of them.

But then…

Then came that letter that left him devastated and us going “whaa?”  Her dumping of him came without warning or any sensible explanation. At first we thought it might just be too tough for her worrying about him while he was away.  But even that didn’t really make sense to us; they both seemed both mature enough and loyal enough despite their brief amount of time together that we thought nothing could separate them.

But the real WTF moment came when we learned that she’d married someone else, and who.  We could find no rationale for her marriage to Tim.  Yes, he was ill, and yes, she was crazy about his son Alan.  But marriage?  Why?  She clearly comes from a wealthy family – surely a large donation and a few fund-raisers would have been sufficient.  We’re pretty sure our parents would have talked us out of this decision.  Hers apparently decided the best course of action was to sell their beach house and then completely disappear.  And if she felt so strongly that this was the right thing to do – why not at least tell John the truth?  Up until then John and Savannah seemed to have a very honest relationship with each other.  We found her actions and her reasons both inexplicable and frankly duplicitous.

We still think they have a decent chance; they share a lot of common traits and values. Both are quiet, strong personalities with a strong sense of self. They’re not players, both seem to know what they want and they share a sense of civic duty.  We can’t help but think that this is short rift is going to come back at them from time to time, and we really feel that they would have had a better chance if she had just waited to marry him when he finished his tour of duty.  But that’s just us.